Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Congratulations! We have a period
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