that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
