So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
