My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
