it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
