Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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