My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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