Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You took a bar mat shot.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
