yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
