I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
