And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
