It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
