I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
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Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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