He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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