Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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