O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
