she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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