It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
