It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
