no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
