people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
