That's intense
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
