escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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