so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
