But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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