so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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