She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
