i don't like sucking hair
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
