I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
