We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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