i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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