Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize