Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
