this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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