They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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