We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
