This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I will pee on everything he values.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
