Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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