bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
