just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
being pregnant is like rehab
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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