Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Randomize
