I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
