dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
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the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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