What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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