What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize