my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
This house was built for laser tag.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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