I cannot find my penis.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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