I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
