do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
