Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
