Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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