so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
