I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have aggressive nipples.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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