My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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