On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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