he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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