The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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