At least make sure they are 18
Why
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
