Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize