Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
