We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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