Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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