My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
