You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
