I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
