Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
